Unplugging can be a powerful practice.

Here are 3 tips to Unplug 

1) Schedule it and be mindful of the commitment. Communicate any obligations even if only for an hour to minimize disruption or distraction. 

2) Take care of your body. Eat well, get rest and select clothing or essential oils that feels supportive. Ask your body what it most needs to be comfortable. 

3) Eliminate expectations. Instead of going into the time of solitude with what you most want to get out of it, go into it with an intention on how you most want to feel while in your special alone time.

Wildhearted Retreat Guatemala 2018

Photo: Tiffany Bednar

Let's talk about BELIEF - Part 1!

This month, we’ll be exploring the theme of beliefs. Our beliefs have the power to shape our reality and impact our results. Belief work involves discovering, distinguishing and changing our unconscious, limiting beliefs.

This is Transformation 101 -- the foundation of any personal growth/development work.

So, let's get back to the basics. Anytime you're not getting the results you want is a good time to look into the hidden beliefs that are affecting you without your knowledge or consent.

Here’s the plan for this month’s investigation:

• Today, we’ll look at the definition of belief and start to uncover the unconscious, limiting beliefs at play in our lives.

• Next week, we’ll delve into the impact of those beliefs -- how they are shaping our results and reality.

• Then, we’ll explore what else we might want to believe instead.

• Finally, we’ll learn some practical ways to shift these limiting beliefs and upgrade them to something more empowering and aligned with our desired results.

• I’ll leave you with concrete ways to take that new belief and put it into embodied action, so you can start getting more of what you want.

Just what is a belief? According to inspirational Law of Attraction teacher and channel, Esther Hicks, a belief is a thought that you keep thinking over and over. You’ve thought it so many times that it has hardened into a belief that lives in the background and under the radar. It has become “just the way it is”.

Our beliefs are influencing everything!

Beliefs can be sneaky and powerful, because these passive, repetitive thoughts are usually neither loud nor on the surface of our consciousness. Yet our beliefs impact what we see, what we think is possible, and what we’re willing to do. Our beliefs shape how we show up in the world and interact with others.

In what aspect of your life are you not getting the results you want?

Where might you have an unconscious, limiting belief that you can work on?

Grab a sheet of paper or download this PDF to use. You might choose to explore a specific area, such as health/fitness, work/business, love/relationship -- or keep it more general. On the top left side of the paper, write “I want…” and on the top right, “But…”. Fill in the blanks. For example, “I want to feel strong, capable and light on my feet…”.

In the right column, list the reasons why you don’t have this stated desire. “But… being healthy is really hard… requires too much sacrifice… or means not getting what I want.”

Which thoughts have turned into unhelpful beliefs? Because these beliefs have probably been kept for a long time, it will likely require some deep contemplation and honesty with ourselves to uncover them.

Look for yourself -- what underlying beliefs are present? See you next week, when we’ll take a closer look at the impact of these beliefs!

 

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In case you missed it:

Last month's exploration on Boundaries is now available on the blog. Click here to start at Part 1 and be sure to download your free Journal Prompt. 

(P.S. I'd love to hear what you are discovering about Boundaries! Chat with me on social media or reply directly to this email.)

Practical Ways to Put Clear Boundaries in Place 

 

All month, we’ve been exploring our relationship with boundaries. Last week, we looked at the many tolls we pay when our boundaries are murky. The intention today is to help you discover a few places where you can immediately put healthy boundaries into place in your life. 

We’ve discussed the definition of what boundaries are; gained insight into why we don’t set them in some aspects of our lives; and understood the true costs involved when our boundaries are blurry or nonexistent.   

Are you ready to make a change? 

Get a piece of blank paper and draw a line down the middle. On the top left side, write THIS WORKS. Title the right column THIS DOESN’T WORK. I invite you to spend a few moments making these two lists.  

What works for you? For example, respectful, engaging conversation; being on time and prepared for meetings; presenting clear offerings that feel resonant and true. 

What doesn’t work? Ambiguity doesn’t work for me. It doesn’t work for people to disregard my time or for me to disregard anyone else’s time. And so on. 

Reread the list of what doesn’t work for you and circle 2-3 items that jump out at you, perhaps with an emotional charge.  This is where we will start. Ask yourself: 

• What action can I take to implement a new boundary? 

• How can I ensure that I don’t have to put up with situations/people/things that don’t work for me? 

Personally, I’ve been looking at my boundary around people who I am and am not willing to work with as a coach. I’ve seen that it doesn’t work for me to continue to try and convince someone when I’ve recognized that they are not ready. It doesn’t work for me to try and force a good fit. Instead, I can accept that it’s okay for people not to be a fit and simply say: “I don’t think what I’m offering is a good match.” 

What actions can you take to put stronger, healthier boundaries in place? What steps are you taking to support the kind of life you want to live? 

Write in your journal:  

• I am making a commitment to __________________ 

• I am available for ______________________ 

• This is what works for me: ______.... Here is an action I’m taking to support this boundary: _______________________ 

Thanks for joining me on this adventure in boundary setting. Stay tuned! Next month, we’re moving into BELIEF.

I want to hear from you. What did you discover around boundaries this month? It’s powerful to share your thoughts and ideas with someone. 

Feel free to comment below and share your thoughts on boundaries with me. I’d love to hear how this exploration has been for you. 

This 12-minute guided meditation invites you to expand your awareness of the spaciousness within and around you and infuse your daily life with gratitude. To hold an ordinary object in your awareness and look at its details, edges, shape, color and texture with new eyes. To notice your direct experience of this object without the judgement and to sense its energy and simple beauty. To rewind your day, from the moment you woke up to beginning your morning routine to engaging  in the day’s work to, finally, getting into your bed at the end of your day. How might you infuse each experience with gratitude? What can you find to appreciate? What moments would you take a snapshot of, to remember and treasure? What delighted you? What simple pleasures did you enjoy? Where did you see beauty? Open your heart to genuinely experience the gratitude.

Listen to this meditation to relax your body into the softness of your breath and let gratitude permeate every cell of your body and overflow.  

What is the Cost of Not Setting Clear Boundaries? 

Ready to continue our exploration of boundaries? Last week, we looked at where our boundaries are in place and where they are lacking. What did you discover are the reasons you use to justify for not drawing clear lines? 

We’ve started to gain insight into where our boundaries are not in place and why -- the underlying beliefs preventing us from maintaining healthy boundaries. We’ve already taken a huge step toward setting healthier, clearer boundaries and have gathered a lot of helpful information to work with. 

Let’s take a deeper look at what happens when we do not set clear boundaries.

Remember the example I shared last week regarding speaking with a potential coaching client? What was it costing me to not have firm boundaries in place around who I am and am not willing to work with? A significant amount of time and energy. Effort and time that could be much better utilized working with compatible clients. 

Not everyone is going to be a good fit, and that’s okay. Continuing to pursue conversations with people who just aren’t ready is a waste of both my time and theirs. Even when I could tell someone wasn’t ready, I would keep trying and inevitably end up feeling frustrated and drained. It was also a drain on my sense of self-expression, making me feel imprisoned.  

Now, when I realize a potential client is not ready, I can say, “I don’t think this work is a good fit for you right now. Here are some resources that could make a difference for you…” and suggest a book, technique or teacher that might inspire them. 

Ask yourself: 

• What is it costing you not to have clear boundaries in place in your relationships, work/business, health, etc.?  

• What’s the cost when something is not okay with you and you’re unwilling to speak out and make a change?   

Energy, patience, clarity, self-expression, your power and freedom, to name a few.

What else could you add to this list? 

Next week, we’ll learn how to reclaim our power, well being and freedom by setting effective boundaries. 


Feel free to comment below and share your thoughts on boundaries with me. I’d be honored to hear how this exploration is going for you! 

GET YOUR THOUGHTS ON PAPER; DOWNLOAD THE FREE JOURNAL PROMPT BELOW!

Download and print this affirmation!

Where are boundaries missing?

This month, we’re exploring the theme of boundaries. Last week, we defined boundaries as drawing a line and being clear about what we will and won’t tolerate.

What have you noticed over the past week with regard to where your boundaries are clear or unclear?

Can you identify the obstacles that prevent you from effectively setting and maintaining boundaries? Do you have feelings of uncertainty as to where we or others stand in relation to an issue or perhaps a subconscious fear of being taken advantage of?

Here’s something that came up for me recently. On a call with a potential coaching client, I was asking questions and trying to get a sense of whether we’d be a good fit to work together. Frankly, she was being difficult and did not seem open to the coaching. Several comments she made and her tone of resignation indicated to me that she wasn’t ready. After the call ended, I felt frustrated and exhausted by the exchange.

When I reached out to my coach about the situation, she suggested that I take the coaching idea off the table and simply say, “How can I make a difference for you in the next ten minutes?”

I am not available to work with people who are not ready to dive in. I saw how my boundary was missing here with this potential client. Why didn’t I set that boundary initially? I wanted to believe I could make a difference for her. I didn’t want to seem unkind or rude. I didn’t want to give up on her. So the idea that I could take back the offer was a revelation to me.

Our inner work this week involves looking more deeply at the places where our boundaries either don’t exist or aren’t clearly defined. What do you notice? What is keeping you from drawing a line and saying, “This doesn’t work for me”?

• Fear?

• Concern for what others will think or feel?

• Not wanting to seem rude, inconsiderate or ________ [fill in the blank]?

• All of the above?

• Something else?

Keep tuning in to where your boundaries are well-defined and where they are not. Next week, we’ll investigate the costs of not having healthy boundaries in place.

Don’t hesitate to comment below and share your thoughts on boundaries. I’d love to hear from you!

GET YOUR THOUGHTS ON PAPER; DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE JOURNAL PROMPT, BELOW!

Defining Our Boundaries 
 

Boundaries are an important theme in our personal lives and in society at large. Whether related to our own personal development or the ongoing creation of our business or career, setting clear boundaries is essential. 
 

Let’s explore the concept of boundaries over the next few weeks. Today, we’ll define boundaries and in future videos, we’ll discuss: 

• What obstacles get in the way of our ability to set and hold boundaries? 

• What is the cost in our life of having boundaries in place, or not? 

• Why do we keep doing something if we know it is not working for us? 

• What are some practical action steps to start creating stronger, healthier boundaries? 
   

First things first: what are boundaries? 

Houston-based professor, researcher and author Brene Brown, who you may remember from her viral TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability, says we can simply define boundaries as “this is okay; this is not okay”.  

Setting healthy boundaries means drawing a line and being crystal clear about what we are and are not willing to tolerate and engage in. We are responsible for setting the parameters around what works for us--and what does not.  
 

To begin this exploration, become aware of two things: 

1. What boundaries are clear for you? In what areas of your life have you already set strong, healthy boundaries? Relationships, family, work/business, health? 

2. Where are your boundaries lacking or murky?  

Setting the foundation with this awareness practice will enable you to learn how to set clear boundaries. 

Feel free to share in the comments below. I’d love to hear your thoughts on boundaries.

At one point in my life the idea of going after what I wanted seemed so self-centered. I grew up in a relatively conservative, religious background and I think it was just sort of this understood or unconscious belief that if we focused on what we wanted we would be selfish, hedonistic people, and it was dangerous to do that.

And then there was this point in my life, this really critical point of change, where a trusted advisor encouraged me to notice what it felt like in my body when I told the truth. That experience allowed me to tap into something I’d never experienced before. I began to understand that what my heart wanted was VALID. That if I could trust my heart and what I knew to be true for me, life got really easy and simple.

I don't have to be afraid of what I want. I don't have to be ashamed of what I want—or going after it. What I’ve come to believe and what I now know to be true is that the things my heart desires are stepping stones to fulfilling my greatest purpose in this life.

Thank you for hearing my story. I’ve created an 8-minute guided meditation + activity to help you explore this for yourself. Enjoy! <3

With this 15-minute guided meditation, allow yourself to feel life being lived through you. Inspired by Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book, The Power of Intention, I invite you to turn down the volume on your thoughts, allowing them to become like distant background music. To let your heart space expand. To notice how your body is being breathed, without any effort or action on your part. To experience being breathed and feel the life-force energy within you that causes your heart to beat and blood to flow. To experience your body as a rich, vibrant garden and pure intention fulfilling itself in you. To remember: you do not have to try to be who you are. You do not have to find yourself or figure it all out. Your life is unfolding perfectly. Let yourself feel the life-force energy breathing, moving, living you. Rest in this space, experiencing the power of life being lived through you. Know that any moment you can tap into your life-force energy and relax into it, trusting that it always has been and always will be there for you.  

Listen to the blog HERE.

What do you want?

What does your heart most deeply desire?

Is there something you say that you want, yet you are neither attaining it nor taking inspired action steps toward achieving it?

This concept of moving toward our heart’s desires can be likened to a sort of internal GPS. In order to effectively use a GPS or any kind of map, you first need to know your exact geographic location.

Where are you currently on the map?

Secondly, you need to know exactly where you are going--or, at the very least, to have a good sense of the general direction in which you are heading.

For example, I want to run a business that positively impacts my clients’ lives and is fulfilling for me, as well. I may not know every single step I will take to get there, but I feel certain that this is the general direction in which I’m moving.

Of course, it is ideal to know exactly where you’re going so that life can take you there.

Where is it that you want to go?

If you’re not taking inspired action toward getting what you want, here are a few possible reasons why:

1. You’re simply not telling yourself the truth about what you want.

   Have you perhaps become confused into thinking you desire something that society, your family or your friends think you should want and have? Dig deeper and explore what it is that you actually want.

2. An unconscious belief is keeping you from trying to achieve this desire.

   Maybe thoughts like ‘it will take too much time and effort’, ‘I don’t know where to begin’, or ‘I can’t actually make this happen’ are running in the background of your mind without you even realizing it.

3. An underlying/competing want is preventing your want from coming to fruition.

   For example, a woman says she desires a more peaceful, loving relationship with her partner. Further probing reveals that what she really wants is to be ‘right’. This underlying desire is sabotaging her stated wish for her relationship.

The things our heart longs for the most are valuable clues leading us to our real purpose here on the planet. When we pay attention to what we desire, we learn more about what matters most to us and what we want to prioritize in life.

Tune in and ask yourself, “What is it that I want?”

You already have everything you need to get it. It’s all within you, and awareness and dedicated action will bring it forth. Give yourself permission to receive what you want.

May you have everything your heart truly desires today!

Thanks for listening and reading! Click here to access a free 8-minute guided meditation and PDF worksheet to further explore this idea

Where in your life do you experience joy?

The answers may change from day to day. Sweet children, loyal pets, a mug of warm coffee and being out in nature are just a few examples of things that give us joy. Animals and young kids are naturally present and joyful, which makes them great teachers. 

Joyful experiences give us that feeling when the sun’s rays breaks through the clouds on a gray day. It’s feels as if joy finds us suddenly and without warning, that we don’t have control over our joy, that it just happens when it happens. In reality, joyfulness was there all along, but we didn’t realize it because we were so busy fixating on the endless chatter in our minds.

The good news is that we can actually cultivate joy by inviting it to show up more in our lives. We can intentionally part the clouds. In this analogy, the clouds represent the repetitive, compulsive thinking and all the mind’s activities that we can’t seem to shut off. 

If you’re interested in bringing more joy into your daily life, the key is to quiet the mind and create a break in thinking in order to allow joy to emerge.

Here are three simple practices for quieting the mind and truly arriving in the present moment:

1.      Recognize the noise in your head as noise.

This creates an opening. When you become aware of the noise and can even say,

“Noise, I see you”, the thinking automatically loses its power and momentum.

 2.      Recognize that this compulsive, repetitive thinking is not yours, nor is it your enemy. It is the human condition.

 Appreciate that the monkey mind is actually trying to keep you safe in its own special way, and don’t fight against it.

3.      Come into your body; get out of your mind.

There are many simple methods to allow yourself to fully arrive in your physical body. Take a deep, conscious breath. Feel your feet on the ground. Even stomp your feet, if you want, and feel a sense of groundedness. Place your hands on your belly as you breathe. Feel the air touching your skin. Find the habit that works for you.

Joy is your true nature. It is always there, like the blue sky and sun behind the clouds. It’s as simple as that, yet easier said than done! Practice noticing the noise, accepting it, and letting it go by bringing awareness and intention into your body and feet. In this way, we can invite more joy into our life and experiences, moment to moment.