5 Signs You're On the Crazy Train (and how to step off)

Hello Wild One,

Let me start by saying that we all ride the crazy train from time to time so if you find yourself on it, don't freak out. It doesn't mean you're a bad person or that you've messed up somehow or that none of the personal growth work you've been doing is actually working.

It just means you're human.

Now let's get clear on exactly what I mean by crazy train. I'm talking about the noise in your head -- that stream of incessant chattering that is always talking to you -- the train of thoughts that runs whether you want it to or not.

And when you're on that train, those noisy thoughts are taking you for a ride!

Here are 5 Signs You're All Aboard the Crazy Train:

1. You're insecure. You feel small and powerless, you're questioning yourself and your abilities, you don't feel like showing up and participating, your sense of confidence is gone. This often looks like procrastination. Possible thoughts: I can't, I don't know how, I'm not good enough.

2. You're losing your shit. Your fuse is short and you're ready to blow. You know you shouldn't be so easily upset but you are. It feels challenging to deal with people. People are dumb. Possible thoughts: I can't help it, it's not my fault, you're wrong.

3. You're so tired. You don't want to get out of bed, you need substantial amounts of caffeine to keep going and you're counting down the hours until bedtime. (Note: this could also be a sign of physical/mental illness and if it's prolonged you should seek professional help). Possible thoughts: It's so hard, I can't do it, I don't want to, I need help.

4. Everything is wrong! Your partner is a jerk, your kids are brats and your job sucks. It feels like you can't catch a break or get ahead. Your life seems to be one big problem. Possible thoughts: It's not fair, if only they would ____, nothing works out for me, it shouldn't be this way

5. Your body hurts. Your shoulders are tight, your lower back aches, your knees are sore, your digestion is off. Your body is speaking to you and it's saying that something is out of balance. Possible thoughts: There's not enough time, I have to do everything myself, I'm not safe.

At the moment you WAKE UP to the fact that your thoughts are taking you for a ride, you're halfway to freedom. Awareness is a vital and a potent first step.

But awareness without aligned action will only get you so far.

You have to make a move!

5 Ways to Step Off the Train and Reclaim Your Power:

1. Slow Down (Literally). Physically slowing down your pace can help you slow down your thoughts which will allow you to begin working with them. Try walking at 75% of the speed you normally would. Inject tiny pauses throughout your day like when you first wake up, before you put your car in drive or each time you wash your hands. Just stop for a moment and take a mindful breath before moving on.

2. Question Your Thoughts. Your thoughts and emotions are the fuel that drives the train. It feels crazy because the thoughts you're paying attention to are mostly noise. They say things like, you don't know what you're doing, you need to try harder, there's no time, I can't do it, no one appreciates me, and all kinds of other nonsense that's just not true. Bring awareness to the specific thoughts that you're having and begin to question them. Often it can be enough to ask, is this true? For further support on questioning your thoughts, watch my series on Beliefs or reference The Work by Byron Katie.

3. Share your Experience. It can be incredibly powerful to get your experience out of your own head and into a conversation with someone. When our stories are heard and validated they soften and lose some charge. Just be mindful that you reach out to someone that will support you to get off the train and not someone who will jump right on it with you!

4. Move your body. You're on the crazy train because you're stuck in your head and listening to all that noise. Period. One of the quickest ways to quiet the noise in your head is to move your body. Take a walk in nature, put on some music and dance or shake (seriously, shaking can change your life!), go to the gym or have sex. Find a way to get INTO your body in a real, tangible way. Need some movement inspiration? Access a free dance playlist here.

5. Fill your own bucket. There are lots of conversations about self-care these days and for good reason. It's challenging to share your love and your gifts with the world when you're running on empty. Taking the time to give yourself what you need is not a luxury. It's an absolute necessity if you want to live your most creative, fulfilled and self-expressed life (and I assume you do because you're here). Filling your own bucket can look all kinds of ways (not just bubble baths and massages although those are great too!) Maybe it's signing up for that class you've been wanting to take, going to the movie by yourself or getting lost in a library. Whatever you do, you must find ways to nourish your own soul and fill your energetic bucket.

I hope this supports you to more quickly recognize when you're being taken for a ride and to step off that crazy train with more ease than ever before.

 
 

p.s. Check out this 4-minute meditation for Stepping Out of Overwhelm.

Ashlie Woods
In Case No One Has Told You Lately

Hello Wild One,


I'm going to make an assumption here that you are a lot like me. Feel free to tell me if I'm wrong! Like me, you have days where you're firing on all cylinders, feeling confident and capable of handling just about anything. You're making moves, being brave and getting sh*t done.

And then, you have days (maybe even the very next day!) where it feels like you're spinning your wheels going nowhere, doubting yourself and your ability to do anything at all. You'd love to just crawl back in bed and pull the covers over your head.

Is it just me or can you relate?

It's those I'd-rather-crawl-back-in-bed days that I really rely on the tools I've acquired over the 13+ years I've been doing this personal growth work. And, as always, it's my mission (and joy) to share those tools with you.

Today, I offer you this playful touchstone* to remind you that your butt is perfect and you're doing an amazing job at life! I encourage you to download + print it out and hang it up somewhere you can see it in the moments you need it most.

Ashlie Signaturered.jpg

*Touchstones are tangible things that represent ideas, affirmations or possibilities. They remind us of who we are and what we're committed to in life.

This touchstone was handwritten by the talented Lisa Long Designs 💖

Ashlie Woods
5 Ways to Remember Who You Really Are

It's normal to forget 🤷🏻‍♀️

We forget WHO WE ARE - our brilliance, our goodness, our enormous capacity and our beauty.

When we forget it's painful. We become anxious, lonely, guarded and afraid.

In these moments of forgetfulness we switch to auto-pilot and we rely on old coping strategies to survive. That's just how forgetting works and it happens to all of us. But, it's not exactly the most satisfying way to live 😝

So REMEMBERING is the name of the game 🎯

One of my personal strategies is to give myself LOTS of reminders in the form of touchstones. Reminders about what I'm committed to, where I want to focus my attention and how I want to feel. I have them EVERYWHERE. And they totally help!

20190921_134856.jpg

Here are 5 ways you can help yourself to remember:


✨1. Write yourself a love note and put it by your bed. Read it each morning as you start your day.

✨2. Infuse a piece of jewelry with a clear intention and then wear it like it's sacred (because it is).

✨ 3. Place sticky notes with POWER words in places you can regularly see them like the dash of your car, inside your refrigerator or tucked in your wallet. Move them around from time to time so you don't go numb to them.

✨ 4. Play a song that makes you feel happy and alive (bonus if you dance it out!). This song always does it for me. Try it out if you need a place to get started.

✨5. Carry an intentionally chosen crystal in your pocket for the day. Reach in to grab it when you need a jolt of confidence or courage.

BONUS --> You can always ask me when you forget! I will happily remind you of the badass, powerful creator that you are 🤘

WHsignaturebanner.jpg
Ashlie Woods
Your Blind Spots are Wrecking Your Goals
 

Hi there, Wildhearted people!

Let’s talk about blind spots and how they’re wrecking your goals.

For a lot of us, when we’re trying to create something new in our lives — meet a goal, attain something, achieve the next level, accomplish more — there are certain things that we know to do in order to become more effective at getting what we want. 

There are all sorts of things we know about that thing we want. Or, about that goal we want to achieve. 

Maybe we want to achieve the next level in our career. We know a lot about reaching that next level and what it takes. There’s information available that we can work with. We can do what we know to do. Right?

We can take a class, get training, consult our boss to learn the next level. We can get feedback from others.

That’s the world of what we do know.

There’s a lot of power in that. But, there’s a whole world of stuff that we don’t know about — that would make a difference in getting to that next level in our career. How can we access that?

Maybe there are skills we don’t have, task we don’t know how to do, or even limitations in our own leadership abilities. But at least we know that we don’t know these things

What we don’t often realize, where we don’t know to look, is in the area of what we don’t know AND we don’t know that we don’t know. Makes sense, right? Because how can we know what we don’t know?!

This is the area of our life — of our being, of our actions — which is completely hidden from our view.

It’s our blind spot.

No doubt you’ve experienced a blind spot while driving. You’re cruising down the road and then you start to move into the next lane only to be greeted by the sounds of a honking horn! Yikes! You quickly swerve back to your own lane, nerves a bit rattled, body a bit shaken. There was someone in your blindspot --  a car you couldn’t see. The outcome could have been serious, right?

It’s just like that in our lives when there are things we want to achieve. There are aspects of how we’re “being” and how we’re “operating” that are in our blind spot.

It could be a limiting belief about ourselves, others, or about the situation we’re in. It might be an assumption that we’re making or a story we’re telling ourselves. It could be a deeply rooted idea or stereotype that becomes the lens through which we are viewing everyone and everything.

Good news ... blind spots can be revealed!

You can gain access to your blind spots. If you want to see what you don’t know (and you don’t know you don’t know), that’s where coaching comes into play. It’s a powerful way to unearth and reveal all those things that, up to now, you couldn’t see.

It’s really hard to do something about what you don't know you don't know. And, ideas and beliefs that are left in our blind spot, are potential dangers. 

By design, our blind spots work really hard to stay hidden from view. Our identity and ego are structured to keep those things hidden from us. If we can't see them, we can't do anything about them. If we can't see them, they're running us or they're working on us without us even knowing it.

This is where coaching shines.

Coaching takes you beyond what you know. And it's beyond what you know you don't know, where you can find the great opportunities that take you to the next level in your life, relationships, career, or your business.

Gaining access to your blind spots is liberating and empowering.

And, it takes support — we’re not going to see those things on our own.

Coaching is one effective way to do it — putting yourself in some sort of transformational program or environment designed to help you see what you can’t see on your own. 

If there's something that you're moving towards, and you feel like you just keep bumping up against a wall, consider that there's something you don't know ... something you can’t see.

You don't even realize that you don't know it.

And, if you could see it, the “seeing” would change EVERYTHING. All of a sudden, there would be new actions to take, new moves to make.

A new sense of power and perspective can be available in a flash of a moment.

There is a way you can make that blind spot visible through the transformative experience of coaching.

If you keep bumping up against an area where you're stuck -- whether it’s in achieving what you want or breaking through to the next level, I encourage you to consider you might be up against something you don’t know -- and you don’t know what it is you don’t know!

Let’s chat. Let’s have a conversation about what’s happening. That's my jam. I’d love to connect with you and support you.

Let’s uncover what you don’t know you don’t know — together!

WHsignaturebanner.jpg
 
Ashlie Woods
Wholehearted Participants Open Up

I adore coaching and leading retreats. There is nothing else in this lifetime that I would rather be doing.

Jaydee shares her biggest takeaway from the Wholehearted on-line series and it explodes my heart 💚💙💛

TIFFANY BEDNAR
Is Self-Care Healthcare?

What if self-care wasn’t optional? What if there was a health requirement to know your body so intimately that you knew the exact preventative measures needed to feel your best?

An article posted in the Harvard Business Review does a beautifully heartbreaking job of explaining how self-care has turned into a pursuit of reaching “perfection”. It addresses the question asking if we are actually committed to being healthier or happier or more committed to achievement and accomplishment?

When I work 1-on-1 with my coaching clients we look deep into their motivations in life. We explore what the ego thinks it needs to be happy and compare that to what the essence (heart) is calling for. I want to share with you the entry point into self-reflection and self-care.

Noticing where you are.

Being able to tell the truth about where you are in any given moment is harder than it sounds, it's self-care at its core, and it’s the place I start with every single client.

Why?

1. IT UNCOVERS YOUR HURT.
Telling the truth about what you are experiencing takes practice. I know.. I know.. you think I’m crazy - but it can be a lot harder than it seems when we are dealing with a psyche that is designed to repress and deny things that are painful.

Let me share an experience from hosting my first international retreat. I had paid a lot of money to book a beautiful location in Tulum, Mexico and I had put the word out on my Facebook page and sent a few personal invites. I had 2 people signed up at the time and I wasn’t sure what else to do to promote the retreat. I was starting to feel panicky as the retreat dates got closer. I kept trying to keep my spirits up by thinking positively and smiling my way through it but inside I was tense and uneasy. Then one day I sat on the edge of my bed and, in an act of surrender, I let this huge wave of doubt wash over me. I stopped trying to convince myself that it would all work out and let myself feel the fear of it not going how I’d hoped.

The truth was, I felt afraid. I was filled with self-doubt that it wouldn’t work and I’d lose a lot of money and be embarrassed as a result.

A snapshot from the retreat in Tulum!

A snapshot from the retreat in Tulum!

2. IT'S EMPOWERING.
When you know where you stand you can OWN it. When you can acknowledge where you are, without judgment or resistance, you have the opportunity to deal powerfully with the reality of the moment.

As soon as I noticed and told the truth about being fearful and insecure, I felt relieved. Like all the energy I’d been using to keep those feelings at bay was liberated and available to me. I could stop pretending to be positive and actually look at the situation in a clear way. I began to consider what would happen if no other people signed up for the retreat and just 2 people came. Acknowledging my fear gave me the opportunity to tap into true confidence. Even if things didn’t go exactly how I might have wanted them to, I would be proud of having gone for it.

3. IT IS ULTIMATE SELF-CARE.
Instantly my energy was renewed. I had reclaimed for myself what is of most value - the richness of my own human experience. Being able to own and open to life is like tasting something delicious for the first time. It allows for the fullness that makes our lives so very sweet.


This exercise can be tricky to do on your own (because of that self-protecting psyche I mentioned earlier). I would love to support you in walking through it. You can book a consult for this exercise here.

Bliss Awaits the Whole<3'd Life

What if you could safely explore the language of your heart?
Truly learn what it is that your heart is trying to say to you NOW?
The Whole 🧡'd online series is designed to give you real tools you can implement in your daily life to quiet your overwhelmed mind and enter a place of joy.

I believe there is a life that wants to be lived through you. I believe you have the power to access that beautiful life and I invite you to join me on this 6-week adventure. We kick off August 19th and It would delight me to have you with us.

A little something about me … I LOVE a great gift! I love to get heartfelt tokens and I love to give them. One of my favorite parts of leading retreat is the gift giving. So, when I thought about what a wholehearted token of my love could be for YOU it was to gift you a Bliss Bag.

Bliss Awaits is owned and operated by a powerhouse of a woman and Wildhearted sister, Amy Yarger. Her monthly Bliss Bags are divine and I want to give one to you.

 

When you register for Wholehearted between Friday, August 2 and Sunday, August 4 you get the bag for FREE.
Fall in love with the Bliss Bag here 

Don’t wait… the magic happens as soon as you register.

Offer ends August 4, 2019.

Free Bliss Bag.png
This One Practice is the KEY to Delight

We can’t deny the fact that bad things happen in life. I know we talk often about joy, peace and a Wildhearted life but I don’t take lightly the challenge that life can be for so many. Heartbreak, at the unthinkable level, happens every day and injustice continues to exists. I'm sure you've experienced your share of this in your own life.

I’m speaking to you right now if the conversation in your head goes something like this:

  • I can never have a joyful life

  • I will NEVER get over what happened to me

  • People who get to live those kinds of life are privileged

  • Too many people depend on me

  • I can’t stop to think about this


In my online series, Wholehearted, I quote Alaina Fairchild. It moves me every. single. time. I read it because it so beautifully captures the challenge and vulnerability involved in doing the inner work. It can seem so much easier to simply stay in our familiar comfort zone even if that so-called comfort is personal pain.

Alaina Fairchild Quote

I want you to know that I see you, I hear you and I believe you.


Ready to open the door to healing?

The one practice that can reliably support your inner growth is a daily gratitude practice.

Here is a practice to get you started.

  1. Put a small notebook or post-it pad by your bed.

  2. Pause each night and write down 3 things that you're grateful for before going to sleep.

  3. Breathe into your heart space and allow yourself to feel grateful.


It may feel challenging at first to think of things you're truly grateful for or to actually feel grateful when you write them. It's ok to start small. Just keep going and I assure you it will grow.

You may write water, my car, life, my family at first and then find that your list gets more detailed and rich as you build your gratitude muscle. It's like anything else, the more we practice the easier it gets.

As you develop the ability to conjure gratitude, you can apply it to the MOST challenging situations. It's amazing how quickly gratitude can shift your experience from sadness and overwhelm to peace and contentment. And don't be surprised when you catch yourself being delighted by simple things throughout your day. It's a common side effect of a gratitude practice.

In the Wholehearted series we look at what it takes to develop conscious practices and create a life we love. I assure you, you have the power to do it and you are so worth it.

How can you hear your heart when the days are so loud and busy?

When we are not watching, life can turn into one big notification.
 
The phone dings, an email sends, a text comes in, a WhatsApp pops up, an alarm goes off, a coffee pot buzzes, the washing machine chimes, calendar reminders ping, smartwatches vibrate… we are on alert, programmed to respond in order to keep life moving for ourselves and others around us.
 
We are productive, make-shit-happen people. We have families, friends and dreams to tend to. We live in a world where to move forward means work - doing things and having habits or practices that drive our desires.
 
We can bring awareness to the impact of a notification filled life by meditating, stopping to breathe, hobbies that bring us into a flow of joy, social appointments that make us belly laugh and intentional time to nurture the most enjoyable parts of living. The key component is intention. The more intention we bring to life, the more presence and joy we experience.
 
I recently celebrated turning the big and beautiful 4-0. I indulged in the transition alongside my love, Adrian. He surprised me with an unknown destination that literally took my breath away.

Photo taken at Antelope Canyon

Photo taken at Antelope Canyon


I had an experience coming into 4-0 of the deep value of unplugging from a notification-filled life. I adore my life’s work. My clients, my leading retreats, my dancing practice, my workout routine, my business leadership programs, my photography AND I really got why I love my life’s work -- it centers around getting still and unplugging to hear what the heart has to say. The heart speaks in stillness and through embodying the antidotes to anxiety (love, joy, peace, patience, wholeheartedness). What Adrian gifted me was serenity.

Photo taken at Horse Shoe Bend

Photo taken at Horse Shoe Bend



I believe there is a life that wants to be lived through you and your big and beautiful heart knows the way. I have walked hundreds of people through hearing their hearts and it is the most refreshing and joyful experience in life. I want to personally invite you to turn off ALL of the notifications in life. Try this for 24 hours and see what happens.

If you are ready to unplug and be with your heart, I invite you to join me in Costa Rica. We will laugh, cry, dance, play, meditate and explore our way through Costa Rica together and you will not return the same as you once were.

Living Life on the Edge

Wild One,
 
I’m coming to you from Arizona where I’m literally sitting on the edge of Horseshoe Bend. (Click to watch or listen)
 
We talk a lot about "living on the edge"—the concept comes up during retreat and I use this analogy throughout my work. So as I sit on the edge of this massive natural wonder it feels like a timely topic to discuss with you.
 
It’s my belief that there’s a life that wants you—to be lived and expressed through you…a purpose you’re meant to fulfill which requires you to step into unknown territory.
 
For many people, making a move toward the life that wants them feels like standing on the edge of something like this…

Edge of Horseshoe Bend Arizona


And it is scary.
 
When you’re on the edge of something your palms are sweaty, your heart is racing, and you feel like you might die. It makes sense because the person you are now, in some ways, has to die so you can be the person you’re meant to become.
 
Many people can’t stand that discomfort—the edginess—so they stay the same.

If you’re not living the life you want to live and you want to be all you were meant to become, then you have to move into unknown territory. It will feel like being on the edge of something. It might feel scary. If you wait for that edgy feeling to go away, or if you wait for the shakiness to subside, or wait for that racing heart to stop…you’ll never move.
 
We have to be willing to move beyond this metaphorical edge--and we can’t wait for that edgy feeling to go away before we do.
 
 
Are you ready to make your move?
 
Who is it that you’re meant to become, and are you ready to become her?

Three Words you NEED to Remember...

We’ve been talking about that thing we all do where we convince ourselves “If only this would happen, then I could be happy.” It’s a trick our mind plays on us to convince us that someday is going to be better than this day.
 
First, I asked you to pay attention to where you are believing this lie: “If this, then that.”
 
Then I asked you to dig deeper and get to the core of what you really want to experience by asking “Then what?”
 
So today I want to offer you three words you can turn to as often as necessary to re-presence this conversation….ready?
 
 
 
 

This. Is. It.
 
 
This is it.
 
 
THIS IS IT!

 
 
 
 
This is my life. Right now. Right here.
 
This is it.
 
There is no someday. When I get to someday---guess what? It’ll be now!
 
THIS is it.
 
Someday never comes. We never get there. We never arrive. It’s always here.
 
This is IT!
 
This is our life. It’s happening right now.
 
I do not mean: “This is it…it will never get better…I should just give up.” <--- NO! This ISN’T that. It is an acceptance of where we are---not with resignation and defeat, but in acceptance of reality and the truth of the current moment we are in.
 
These are the cards in your hands. You can spend energy wishing you’ll have different cards, but ultimately you have to play the cards that are in your hand. You don’t get new ones until you play the ones you’re dealt. When you remember “this is it,” your situation becomes:
 
These are the cards in my hand.
What am I going to do?
How am I going to play?
Who am I going to be about it?
 
THIS IS IT.
 
And, something we can all count on--something that will always be true beyond anything else--is that IT will change. Whether it’s amazing, or the worst situation we’ve ever been in--whatever it is--it’s temporary.
 
 
When we say “This is it,” and accept the moment fully--just as it is--then we have all our energy and resources available to respond in a way that feels honoring of who we are and how we want to show up in the world.
 
 
Stick that in your heart and pull it out when you need it. If you’re hurried, wishing, striving, waiting for your someday --- then give yourself a little kick in the ass and tell yourself: THIS IS IT.
 
Right now, my life is happening…who am I going to be about it?
 

TIFFANY BEDNAR
Wildhearted Meditation Resources

It’s always my intention to let my intuition to lead me in my business, life, and relationships…that’s how I want to live.
 
Sometimes your heart says to take a left when you don’t expect it. That’s how it feels for Virtual Circle…Virtual Circle has been such a beautiful place to serve the community, be with people and share our love of meditation and spirituality. However, it’s time for that chapter to be complete because there is something else preparing to take its place….and I want to make the space for whatever that may be.
 
I will still be releasing free guided meditations monthly through Insight Timer. Make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletters and always be the first to know!
 
The Sacred Circle Group will remain the place to share resources, connect with one another and share all things meditation and mindfulness. If you haven’t already joined this sweet community, I invite you to come on in!

For now, I want to leave you with this guided meditation for Releasing Resistance. May it support you in making space for new and delightful experiences.

Be open to whatever may come next.

TIFFANY BEDNAR
Retreat to Realign: A Wildhearted Update from Mexico

If you’ve been following my Instagram stories you know that I've been in Mexico for the Work-ation experience with Tiffany Bednar (you know her as my partner in Wildfire, the business-intensive program I offer). It’s been a great opportunity to break away from my usual environment, take a look at my work from a different perspective and to create some new possibilities in my business.
 
Maybe you can relate to that feeling! Have you ever found yourself going through the day to day, so engrossed in your routine that you lose sight of the overall vision of your business or even your life? Sometimes it’s hard to keep perspective on the greater work we are doing, and we just need to step back and realign. (It’s pretty much the very definition of retreat, right?!)
 
Retreat is an opportunity to literally pull back and take some time to recharge, reconnect and reengage in our heart’s work with renewed energy.
 
I'm looking forward to sharing some big updates with you on the next round of WildFire very soon. PLUS I’ll be releasing dates for upcoming Wildhearted Retreats, so be on the lookout!

KNOW SOMEONE WHO COULD USE THIS TODAY? SEND THIS TO THEIR INBOX

What are you really waiting for?

I want to touch back in on the conversation we started about chasing carrots.
 
 
Recently I asked you to start noticing where in your life you feel hurried or as though you’re waiting on something. I posed the idea that when you tell yourself, “If this, then that,” you are believing a lie. (ie. “If this happens, then I will be happy.”)
 
So today I want to give you a little exercise that will help you get to the truth about what you’re really waiting for. 
 

CLICK HERE TO WATCH OR LISTEN

 
You’ll start by choosing an area of your life where you are telling yourself “If this, then that.”
Then, start to break that down by asking: “Then what?”
 
Let’s walk through an example from my own life:
 
Right now I’m trying to book a retreat and I am telling myself, “If the retreat center would get back to me about dates, then I could make a move.”
Then what?
“Then I could create the page on my website.”
Then what?
“Then I could announce the retreat to my community.”
Then what?
“Then I could start having conversations with people and registering them into the retreat.”
Then what?
Then I could start making plans, and supporting people in getting the results they want to get.”
Then what?
Then I would be doing the work I want to be doing.
Then what?
Then I would be satisfied.
 
You can see I’ve drilled it down until I got to something that feels real.
 
What I really want is the satisfaction that comes with being clear, doing the work I love and making a difference for the people I’m working with.
 
The final step is to ask myself: “What could I do right now that would give me the experience of being satisfied?”
 
I could make a list of things I’m grateful for. There are so many things in my life that I already have, which bring me great satisfaction.
 
You see, the illusion that I am buying into is that I need to hear back from this retreat center before I can be satisfied.
But that’s bullsh*t.
I don’t have to wait for them to be satisfied.
 
There is nothing we want for any other reason than how we think we’ll feel when we have it.
 
You want to get the root of that and start taking action on it immediately.
 
 
Now you try:
 

  1. Start by picking one instance where you are telling yourself, “If this, then that.”

  1. Then you’re going to break that down by asking yourself, “Then what?”

  1. Start to drill it down until you get to something that feels true for you. Designate a feeling.

  1. Find one thing that you can do to give yourself that feeling you’re after. Do that thing!

 
 
If you try this exercise and you get stuck, reach out and let me help you through it. I would love getting into this with you.

TIFFANY BEDNARComment
Chasing Carrots

Are you chasing carrots?
 
You know what I’m talking about…it’s the thing we all do. We convince ourselves: Once we do this then we’ll be that.
 
Once we get the raise…
Once we move into the new house…
Once we find the love…
Once we have the baby…
 
I playfully call this “chasing carrots,” because there is this “thing” dangling in front of us and we believe once we get it, then we will be happy.
 
In my own life, and in my business, I have a tendency to believe “Once I reach this level of achievement or this level of success, then I will really be fulfilled.”
 
To be aware of this and not buy into this illusion is a constant practice.
 
 
So today I invite you to bring some awareness and attention to where you may be doing this in your own life.
 

 
Here are a few places you can start looking immediately:
 
Anywhere you may be waiting. Is there something specific you’re waiting for? There’s a good chance you’re believing that once you have it then something will be different.
 
Anywhere you may feel hurried. Do you feel like you’re racing toward something, because once you get there then something magical will happen?

Anywhere you may have a sense of striving. Striving has a sense of strain to it---it’s distinct from going after or playfully creating something. It has a tense energy similar to chasing.
 
 
Begin to look at those places and explore the idea “what do I really believe will be different once I arrive?” start to tell the truth to yourself.
 
It may help you to put it into an “IF, THEN” structure:
If I get here then I will be _______.
If I do this then ______.
If this person does this then _____.
If this finally happens then _______.
Where are you believing “If this, then that?”
 
I can tell you right now---whatever it is---it’s a lie. It’s a lie that we all believe! We’ll get into this a little more next week.
 
 
Try this exercise out and let me know how it goes.

TIFFANY BEDNAR
What happened in Sedona? (Sacred Fire Retreat re-cap)

Here's what happened in Sedona.

 

I just came off an incredible Sacred Fire retreat week in the gorgeous and energy-rich location of Sedona, and I want to tell you all about it!


Here’s a quick run-down of what we were doing last week:

  • Exploring new ways of moving and being.

  • Truing up to our values and how we can align those with how we operate in our businesses.

  • Sitting in our power and distinguishing how we want to show up in ways that shift the planet.

  • Identifying who we want to draw in and play with in our work.

  • Creating a framework that gives our work consistent focus on why we do what we do, and who we do it for.

  • Implementing structures to support us in fulfilling our goals in business and life.

  • Incorporating accountability practices that keep us from selling out or selling ourselves short.

  • Taking photos infused with intention so that our businesses are represented with integrity and authenticity when we go to market.

  • Basking in an incredible healing sound bath of one of Sedona’s potent energy vortexes.

  • Playing with like-minded individuals in a safe, creative space.



Catch the IGTV video here, and be sure to connect with me on Instagram! <3



The next Sacred Fire Business Retreat is September 25-29 in the Ozarks of Arkansas. We’re focusing on BEING SEEN. Apply now.



Sacred Fire is part of the Business Intensive program, WildFire. If you’re ready to shift your energy, expand your vision and step into a whole new paradigm for your life and your business., this is the program for you! Learn more about WildFire here.





So maybe you're not ready to jump in...where can you start?

Book a FREE exploratory call. Let's chat!

Cultivating Mindfulness in Our Everyday Lives

All month we’ve been talking about mindfulness, and today I want to leave you with some practices that will help you to begin cultivating mindfulness in your everyday.
 
What is mindfulness? The term gets thrown around a lot these days. It’s particularly hot and trendy to talk about mindfulness…but what does it really mean?
 

To be mindful is to pay attention to what’s actually happening in your experience.

 
It sounds so obvious that you would think, “aren’t we always doing that?” Actually no.
More often than not we are lost in thought. Our minds like to live in the past and in the future. You might catch yourself replaying or reliving something in the past, OR you’re planning for or fixating on something that’s happening in the future. Neither of those places is right here, right now. While it’s super easy for our minds to get caught up in the past or future OUR BODY, lucky for us, is always in the present moment.
 

Our body is our number one resource for cultivating mindfulness. 
 

There are tremendous benefits to cultivating mindfulness:

  • We have a depth of connection with ourselves and people around us.

  • We experience less depression and less anxiety.

  • We have a greater overall sense of wellbeing as well as a confidence in our ability to handle what comes up.

 
I want to leave you with what, in retreats, we refer to as “S.S.S.” These are practices you can take with you anywhere, anytime and we like to call them “doorways to the now.”  
 

 
The Three S’s

 
The first is SILENCE. Now, before you go thinking you have to run off and meditate for hours a day or something ridiculous, it doesn’t mean that. It just means taking a pause to notice the silence that underlies everything.
 
I like to do this in the first moment I get in the car, before I buckle my seatbelt or put the keys in the ignition. I just pause, take a breath and sink in to being present with what I’m doing.
 
Those types of little moments really add up over time. It could be before you walk out the door, before you get dressed in the morning…I have a meditation teacher that would tell you to do this when you sit down to pee. Everybody pees and you do it multiple times a day so it’s the perfect place to just pause and get present to the silent and stillness. Even if it’s noisy! What’s so interesting is that when you start practicing this one, you start to notice the silence is always there, even when it’s vague.
 
 
The second S is SENSING. Awaken your senses. you can put your attention on one sense to start. Just listen. Just look. Just smell.
 
A great place to start practicing this is when you wash your hands. Of all the times per day you wash your hands, could you tell me if the water was hot or cold, or what it felt like? Do you appreciate the feeling of your hands touching each other? Awaken your world to the senses around you.
 
 
The third S -- SAY YES. Whatever is happening in your experience, can you say, “yes?” Stop fighting or pushing it away and just allow it to be there.
 
There is traffic and you’re sitting in it, you’re tense…that little part of you inside is just saying, “no.” You don’t want things to be this way, and you just want out. Saying an internal no is only going to cause you suffering. So, how can you say, “yes?”  Notice how your whole world can soften and open up inside of that acceptance.
 
 
You can practice S.S.S. all together, all at once.
 
Imagine your alarm goes off at 5:30 am. Your natural instincts make you say “no,” but if you practice S.S.S. you pause for a moment to appreciate the silence. You feel the weight of your body on the bed and the sheets on your skin. It’s time to get up. You say,” yes,” to this day, “yes” to getting started and “yes” to life.
 
 
 
I offer this as a starting point. Starting in the body, right where you are is perfect. Remember S.S.S. You don’t have to do them all at once; if you can just remember one “S” during any given moment and tap into that it will help bring you into whatever moment in which you find yourself. Anytime we can be more present we experience greater fulfillment—ALWAYS.

The Pull of Our Environment


Last week I shared that I’ve been going 90-to-nothing for a while now, and that my inner wisdom was telling me “it’s time to slow down.” My belief is that slowing down is a vital component to being effective and productive in life. It can feel counterintuitive, but what I find is that when I slow down and make space, the moves I make render greater rewards because they are heart-aligned actions.
 
 
With that in mind, this week I want to introduce the idea of how the pull of our environment affects us.
 
It’s a concept I’ve been working through for a while now, and I’ve been experiencing some beautiful results I’d like to share with you.
 
We are always in a dance with our environment. We are constantly interacting and moving in relationship to the environment we are in. How we show up, the behaviors we take on and the way we engage with people is influenced by the environment in which we find ourselves.
 
 
Our environment has a profound impact on our ability to be effective. If we don’t consider the pull of our environment it will impact us in ways we are unconscious of...and usually not for the better.
 
 
Here are a few examples of what I noticed when I started examining what my environment encourages or discourages:
 
I love ice cream. If I buy a pint of ice cream I might just eat it every night until it’s gone. If it’s in the freezer it’s like I can hear it calling me. This only becomes a problem when eating ice cream several times a week keeps me from having the results I want. At that point I simply have to stop buying ice cream and remove it from my environment.
 
On Fridays my partner may work from home and what I notice is that I always want to take a nap on the afternoons when he is here. I love a good midday nap, so it’s not a problem that my environment is encouraging it. However, I know that if I need to be productive on a Friday afternoon I should remove myself from that environment so I don’t get pulled away from work by the temptation of a nap.
 
 
By keeping my phone by my bed at night, I was more likely to hit snooze on my alarm in the morning which would cut into my day. As much as I love to sleep in, I also want to get my day started early to make space for my morning routine of quiet time, writing and meditation. I started putting my phone outside of my room so that I physically have to get out of bed to turn off my alarm. This simple change to my environment helps me have the mornings I want to have.
 
This is an invitation to explore where your environment is pulling at you. What is it encouraging and what is it discouraging? Once you notice these things you can start making adjustments so that your environment is always encouraging the kind of effectiveness and productivity that matches the results your heart desires.
 
As always, I’d love to hear from you. What did you notice? What changes are you making? What’s working and what’s not working for you?
 
Have a great week!
 

KNOW SOMEONE WHO COULD USE THIS TODAY? SEND THIS TO THEIR INBOX

Permission to Pause


If you were sitting here on the sofa with me, having a heart to heart, I would honestly tell you…that I’m tired.
 
Thinking about what the first few months of 2019 have been like for me, I’ve just been doing so much: I created and developed a year-long business intensive program, launched my online course, wrapped up a 5-month coaching program, had 2 retreats (whew!) ... add in some travel and, wow, that’s a lot!
 
While all the things I’ve been doing are things I love and I’m proud of, I can also appreciate that I’m not meant to keep that pace ongoingly.
 
All the messages and signs are telling me to slow down. Time to make space. Lift my head upStep back. Literally pauseGet quiet. Sink back into the stillness.
 
Slowing down can feel counterproductive, but it’s actually a component of productivity. 
 
When my inner wisdom tells me to slow down, the noise in my head gets really LOUD.
 
Your mind will try to convince you that if you slow down:
 

  • Things will get further behind

  • It will all fall apart

  • Projects will lose momentum

  • Business will dry up

  • It will cost you and you can’t afford the cost

 
In Whole<3’d we talk about quieting this noise in order to hear the heart. The mind makes noise because it wants to keep me safe and protect me by maintaining predictable patterns such as stay busy, stay moving. If I were to buy into that and just keep plowing forward I would probably end up physically sick or just completely burned out.
 
I’m so grateful that I have the skill to recognize this as just noise. I can tune it out and really listen to the wisdom that’s underneath and trust it. The voice telling me to slow down is calling to me for a reason.
 
It doesn’t mean I’m going to lose everything I’m working for. I slow down, rest, take time, play a bit more, open up to creativity and then….the energy shifts and things start coming to me. The people are there, the business is there, ideas are flowing.
 
Really, slowing down is one of the most productive things I can do.
 
It’s a concept I call heart-aligned productivity and something I want to talk about this month. It’s not just doing more for the sake of doing more. Instead, it means doing what aligns with our heart AND trusting that will actually help us produce whatever we are meant to bring into the world.
 
This is your permission to pause. 
 
I invite you to set aside the noise that would caution you otherwise.
Listen to the wisdom within you.
Give yourself what you most need: space, rest, play.
Trust that everything you are building, and everything that is meant to be yours is not lost but in fact will move closer to you in the process.
 
See you next week, when we’ll talk about a whole new distinction of heart-aligned productivity.
 
Enjoy your rest.
<3

KNOW SOMEONE WHO COULD USE THIS TODAY? SEND THIS TO THEIR INBOX