How much kindness and self-compassion are you showing yourself? — Ashlie Woods

Today I want to talk about kindness. Particularly kindness toward yourself.

If I were to ask you to do a little assessment and just reflect, how kind would you say you are to yourself?

Especially if you’re someone who’s on a personal growth path who’s committed to personal development or transformation, you may always be looking for ways in which you can grow or “improve.”

Sometimes when we’re really committed to this lifestyle, we start to look for all the things that are wrong with us and need to be better. We’re always working on something somehow. Can you relate to that? Are you a perpetual self-helper?

Look, I’m a coach. I’m a believer in personal development. I’m always engaged at some level.

But I remember one of my early meditation teachers saying that the true mark of our spiritual development is not how long we can sit on a cushion with our eyes closed in deep meditation.

The real mark of our spiritual and personal development is how gracious and kind we can be with ourselves, especially when things don’t work out exactly like we thought they would.

Can we show ourselves kindness and compassion?

These are my questions for you today:

How nice are you to yourself?
How kind are you to yourself?
How gracious are you when things don’t go the way you want?

I noticed this for myself last week. I had some things come up on my calendar that I wasn’t expecting, so I ended up rearranging some commitments.

At first, I had a sense of guilt or failure about it. Like, I should have been looking further ahead; I should have known better.

The fact that I had to move some things felt like a deficiency on my part. Perhaps I could have been more thoughtful in my planning.

At the end of the day, is it doing me any good to berate myself over this? What if I could show myself some kindness and compassion instead?

OK, maybe next time I pause and think about it more in-depth before I make plans. Yes, I can take that bit of wisdom.

But can I also be gracious and kind with myself about needing to rearrange things? It didn’t go like I thought it was going to go. And that’s OK.

How much kindness are you showing yourself?

I love hearing from you! So, if something’s coming up for you, just hit reply and let me know.