I’m coming to you from Arizona where I’m literally sitting on the edge of Horseshoe Bend. (Click to watch or listen)
We talk a lot about "living on the edge"—the concept comes up during retreat and I use this analogy throughout my work. So as I sit on the edge of this massive natural wonder it feels like a timely topic to discuss with you.
It’s my belief that there’s a life that wants you—to be lived and expressed through you…a purpose you’re meant to fulfill which requires you to step into unknown territory.
For many people, making a move toward the life that wants them feels like standing on the edge of something like this…
And it is scary.
When you’re on the edge of something your palms are sweaty, your heart is racing, and you feel like you might die. It makes sense because the person you are now, in some ways, has to die so you can be the person you’re meant to become.
Many people can’t stand that discomfort—the edginess—so they stay the same.
If you’re not living the life you want to live and you want to be all you were meant to become, then you have to move into unknown territory. It will feel like being on the edge of something. It might feel scary. If you wait for that edgy feeling to go away, or if you wait for the shakiness to subside, or wait for that racing heart to stop…you’ll never move.
We have to be willing to move beyond this metaphorical edge--and we can’t wait for that edgy feeling to go away before we do.
Are you ready to make your move?
Who is it that you’re meant to become, and are you ready to become her?
We’ve been talking about that thing we all do where we convince ourselves “If only this would happen, then I could be happy.” It’s a trick our mind plays on us to convince us that someday is going to be better than this day.
First, I asked you to pay attention to where you are believing this lie: “If this, then that.”
Then I asked you to dig deeper and get to the core of what you really want to experience by asking “Then what?”
So today I want to offer you three words you can turn to as often as necessary to re-presence this conversation….ready?
This. Is. It.
This is it.
THIS IS IT!
This is my life. Right now. Right here.
This is it.
There is no someday. When I get to someday---guess what? It’ll be now!
THIS is it.
Someday never comes. We never get there. We never arrive. It’s always here.
This is IT!
This is our life. It’s happening right now.
I do not mean: “This is it…it will never get better…I should just give up.” <--- NO! This ISN’T that. It is an acceptance of where we are---not with resignation and defeat, but in acceptance of reality and the truth of the current moment we are in.
These are the cards in your hands. You can spend energy wishing you’ll have different cards, but ultimately you have to play the cards that are in your hand. You don’t get new ones until you play the ones you’re dealt. When you remember “this is it,” your situation becomes:
These are the cards in my hand.
What am I going to do?
How am I going to play?
Who am I going to be about it?
THIS IS IT.
And, something we can all count on--something that will always be true beyond anything else--is that IT will change. Whether it’s amazing, or the worst situation we’ve ever been in--whatever it is--it’s temporary.
When we say “This is it,” and accept the moment fully--just as it is--then we have all our energy and resources available to respond in a way that feels honoring of who we are and how we want to show up in the world.
Stick that in your heart and pull it out when you need it. If you’re hurried, wishing, striving, waiting for your someday --- then give yourself a little kick in the ass and tell yourself: THIS IS IT.
Right now, my life is happening…who am I going to be about it?
It’s always my intention to let my intuition to lead me in my business, life, and relationships…that’s how I want to live.
Sometimes your heart says to take a left when you don’t expect it. That’s how it feels for Virtual Circle…Virtual Circle has been such a beautiful place to serve the community, be with people and share our love of meditation and spirituality. However, it’s time for that chapter to be complete because there is something else preparing to take its place….and I want to make the space for whatever that may be.
I will still be releasing free guided meditations monthly through Insight Timer. Make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletters and always be the first to know!
The Sacred Circle Group will remain the place to share resources, connect with one another and share all things meditation and mindfulness. If you haven’t already joined this sweet community, I invite you to come on in!
For now, I want to leave you with this guided meditation for Releasing Resistance. May it support you in making space for new and delightful experiences.
Be open to whatever may come next.
If you’ve been following my Instagram stories you know that I've been in Mexico for the Work-ation experience with Tiffany Bednar (you know her as my partner in Wildfire, the business-intensive program I offer). It’s been a great opportunity to break away from my usual environment, take a look at my work from a different perspective and to create some new possibilities in my business.
Maybe you can relate to that feeling! Have you ever found yourself going through the day to day, so engrossed in your routine that you lose sight of the overall vision of your business or even your life? Sometimes it’s hard to keep perspective on the greater work we are doing, and we just need to step back and realign. (It’s pretty much the very definition of retreat, right?!)
Retreat is an opportunity to literally pull back and take some time to recharge, reconnect and reengage in our heart’s work with renewed energy.
I'm looking forward to sharing some big updates with you on the next round of WildFire very soon. PLUS I’ll be releasing dates for upcoming Wildhearted Retreats, so be on the lookout!
I want to touch back in on the conversation we started about chasing carrots.
Recently I asked you to start noticing where in your life you feel hurried or as though you’re waiting on something. I posed the idea that when you tell yourself, “If this, then that,” you are believing a lie. (ie. “If this happens, then I will be happy.”)
So today I want to give you a little exercise that will help you get to the truth about what you’re really waiting for.
You’ll start by choosing an area of your life where you are telling yourself “If this, then that.”
Then, start to break that down by asking: “Then what?”
Let’s walk through an example from my own life:
Right now I’m trying to book a retreat and I am telling myself, “If the retreat center would get back to me about dates, then I could make a move.”
“Then I could create the page on my website.”
“Then I could announce the retreat to my community.”
“Then I could start having conversations with people and registering them into the retreat.”
Then I could start making plans, and supporting people in getting the results they want to get.”
Then I would be doing the work I want to be doing.
Then I would be satisfied.
You can see I’ve drilled it down until I got to something that feels real.
What I really want is the satisfaction that comes with being clear, doing the work I love and making a difference for the people I’m working with.
The final step is to ask myself: “What could I do right now that would give me the experience of being satisfied?”
I could make a list of things I’m grateful for. There are so many things in my life that I already have, which bring me great satisfaction.
You see, the illusion that I am buying into is that I need to hear back from this retreat center before I can be satisfied.
But that’s bullsh*t.
I don’t have to wait for them to be satisfied.
There is nothing we want for any other reason than how we think we’ll feel when we have it.
You want to get the root of that and start taking action on it immediately.
Now you try:
Start by picking one instance where you are telling yourself, “If this, then that.”
Then you’re going to break that down by asking yourself, “Then what?”
Start to drill it down until you get to something that feels true for you. Designate a feeling.
Find one thing that you can do to give yourself that feeling you’re after. Do that thing!
If you try this exercise and you get stuck, reach out and let me help you through it. I would love getting into this with you.
Are you chasing carrots?
You know what I’m talking about…it’s the thing we all do. We convince ourselves: Once we do this then we’ll be that.
Once we get the raise…
Once we move into the new house…
Once we find the love…
Once we have the baby…
I playfully call this “chasing carrots,” because there is this “thing” dangling in front of us and we believe once we get it, then we will be happy.
In my own life, and in my business, I have a tendency to believe “Once I reach this level of achievement or this level of success, then I will really be fulfilled.”
To be aware of this and not buy into this illusion is a constant practice.
So today I invite you to bring some awareness and attention to where you may be doing this in your own life.
Here are a few places you can start looking immediately:
Anywhere you may be waiting. Is there something specific you’re waiting for? There’s a good chance you’re believing that once you have it then something will be different.
Anywhere you may feel hurried. Do you feel like you’re racing toward something, because once you get there then something magical will happen?
Anywhere you may have a sense of striving. Striving has a sense of strain to it---it’s distinct from going after or playfully creating something. It has a tense energy similar to chasing.
Begin to look at those places and explore the idea “what do I really believe will be different once I arrive?” start to tell the truth to yourself.
It may help you to put it into an “IF, THEN” structure:
If I get here then I will be _______.
If I do this then ______.
If this person does this then _____.
If this finally happens then _______.
Where are you believing “If this, then that?”
I can tell you right now---whatever it is---it’s a lie. It’s a lie that we all believe! We’ll get into this a little more next week.
Try this exercise out and let me know how it goes.
Here's what happened in Sedona.
I just came off an incredible Sacred Fire retreat week in the gorgeous and energy-rich location of Sedona, and I want to tell you all about it!
Here’s a quick run-down of what we were doing last week:
Exploring new ways of moving and being.
Truing up to our values and how we can align those with how we operate in our businesses.
Sitting in our power and distinguishing how we want to show up in ways that shift the planet.
Identifying who we want to draw in and play with in our work.
Creating a framework that gives our work consistent focus on why we do what we do, and who we do it for.
Implementing structures to support us in fulfilling our goals in business and life.
Incorporating accountability practices that keep us from selling out or selling ourselves short.
Taking photos infused with intention so that our businesses are represented with integrity and authenticity when we go to market.
Basking in an incredible healing sound bath of one of Sedona’s potent energy vortexes.
Playing with like-minded individuals in a safe, creative space.
Sacred Fire is part of the Business Intensive program, WildFire. If you’re ready to shift your energy, expand your vision and step into a whole new paradigm for your life and your business., this is the program for you! Learn more about WildFire here.
So maybe you're not ready to jump in...where can you start?
All month we’ve been talking about mindfulness, and today I want to leave you with some practices that will help you to begin cultivating mindfulness in your everyday.
What is mindfulness? The term gets thrown around a lot these days. It’s particularly hot and trendy to talk about mindfulness…but what does it really mean?
To be mindful is to pay attention to what’s actually happening in your experience.
It sounds so obvious that you would think, “aren’t we always doing that?” Actually no.
More often than not we are lost in thought. Our minds like to live in the past and in the future. You might catch yourself replaying or reliving something in the past, OR you’re planning for or fixating on something that’s happening in the future. Neither of those places is right here, right now. While it’s super easy for our minds to get caught up in the past or future OUR BODY, lucky for us, is always in the present moment.
Our body is our number one resource for cultivating mindfulness.
There are tremendous benefits to cultivating mindfulness:
We have a depth of connection with ourselves and people around us.
We experience less depression and less anxiety.
We have a greater overall sense of wellbeing as well as a confidence in our ability to handle what comes up.
I want to leave you with what, in retreats, we refer to as “S.S.S.” These are practices you can take with you anywhere, anytime and we like to call them “doorways to the now.”
The Three S’s
The first is SILENCE. Now, before you go thinking you have to run off and meditate for hours a day or something ridiculous, it doesn’t mean that. It just means taking a pause to notice the silence that underlies everything.
I like to do this in the first moment I get in the car, before I buckle my seatbelt or put the keys in the ignition. I just pause, take a breath and sink in to being present with what I’m doing.
Those types of little moments really add up over time. It could be before you walk out the door, before you get dressed in the morning…I have a meditation teacher that would tell you to do this when you sit down to pee. Everybody pees and you do it multiple times a day so it’s the perfect place to just pause and get present to the silent and stillness. Even if it’s noisy! What’s so interesting is that when you start practicing this one, you start to notice the silence is always there, even when it’s vague.
The second S is SENSING. Awaken your senses. you can put your attention on one sense to start. Just listen. Just look. Just smell.
A great place to start practicing this is when you wash your hands. Of all the times per day you wash your hands, could you tell me if the water was hot or cold, or what it felt like? Do you appreciate the feeling of your hands touching each other? Awaken your world to the senses around you.
The third S -- SAY YES. Whatever is happening in your experience, can you say, “yes?” Stop fighting or pushing it away and just allow it to be there.
There is traffic and you’re sitting in it, you’re tense…that little part of you inside is just saying, “no.” You don’t want things to be this way, and you just want out. Saying an internal no is only going to cause you suffering. So, how can you say, “yes?” Notice how your whole world can soften and open up inside of that acceptance.
You can practice S.S.S. all together, all at once.
Imagine your alarm goes off at 5:30 am. Your natural instincts make you say “no,” but if you practice S.S.S. you pause for a moment to appreciate the silence. You feel the weight of your body on the bed and the sheets on your skin. It’s time to get up. You say,” yes,” to this day, “yes” to getting started and “yes” to life.
I offer this as a starting point. Starting in the body, right where you are is perfect. Remember S.S.S. You don’t have to do them all at once; if you can just remember one “S” during any given moment and tap into that it will help bring you into whatever moment in which you find yourself. Anytime we can be more present we experience greater fulfillment—ALWAYS.
Last week I shared that I’ve been going 90-to-nothing for a while now, and that my inner wisdom was telling me “it’s time to slow down.” My belief is that slowing down is a vital component to being effective and productive in life. It can feel counterintuitive, but what I find is that when I slow down and make space, the moves I make render greater rewards because they are heart-aligned actions.
With that in mind, this week I want to introduce the idea of how the pull of our environment affects us.
It’s a concept I’ve been working through for a while now, and I’ve been experiencing some beautiful results I’d like to share with you.
We are always in a dance with our environment. We are constantly interacting and moving in relationship to the environment we are in. How we show up, the behaviors we take on and the way we engage with people is influenced by the environment in which we find ourselves.
Our environment has a profound impact on our ability to be effective. If we don’t consider the pull of our environment it will impact us in ways we are unconscious of...and usually not for the better.
Here are a few examples of what I noticed when I started examining what my environment encourages or discourages:
I love ice cream. If I buy a pint of ice cream I might just eat it every night until it’s gone. If it’s in the freezer it’s like I can hear it calling me. This only becomes a problem when eating ice cream several times a week keeps me from having the results I want. At that point I simply have to stop buying ice cream and remove it from my environment.
On Fridays my partner may work from home and what I notice is that I always want to take a nap on the afternoons when he is here. I love a good midday nap, so it’s not a problem that my environment is encouraging it. However, I know that if I need to be productive on a Friday afternoon I should remove myself from that environment so I don’t get pulled away from work by the temptation of a nap.
By keeping my phone by my bed at night, I was more likely to hit snooze on my alarm in the morning which would cut into my day. As much as I love to sleep in, I also want to get my day started early to make space for my morning routine of quiet time, writing and meditation. I started putting my phone outside of my room so that I physically have to get out of bed to turn off my alarm. This simple change to my environment helps me have the mornings I want to have.
This is an invitation to explore where your environment is pulling at you. What is it encouraging and what is it discouraging? Once you notice these things you can start making adjustments so that your environment is always encouraging the kind of effectiveness and productivity that matches the results your heart desires.
As always, I’d love to hear from you. What did you notice? What changes are you making? What’s working and what’s not working for you?
Have a great week!
If you were sitting here on the sofa with me, having a heart to heart, I would honestly tell you…that I’m tired.
Thinking about what the first few months of 2019 have been like for me, I’ve just been doing so much: I created and developed a year-long business intensive program, launched my online course, wrapped up a 5-month coaching program, had 2 retreats (whew!) ... add in some travel and, wow, that’s a lot!
While all the things I’ve been doing are things I love and I’m proud of, I can also appreciate that I’m not meant to keep that pace ongoingly.
All the messages and signs are telling me to slow down. Time to make space. Lift my head up. Step back. Literally pause. Get quiet. Sink back into the stillness.
Slowing down can feel counterproductive, but it’s actually a component of productivity.
When my inner wisdom tells me to slow down, the noise in my head gets really LOUD.
Your mind will try to convince you that if you slow down:
Things will get further behind
It will all fall apart
Projects will lose momentum
Business will dry up
It will cost you and you can’t afford the cost
In Whole<3’d we talk about quieting this noise in order to hear the heart. The mind makes noise because it wants to keep me safe and protect me by maintaining predictable patterns such as stay busy, stay moving. If I were to buy into that and just keep plowing forward I would probably end up physically sick or just completely burned out.
I’m so grateful that I have the skill to recognize this as just noise. I can tune it out and really listen to the wisdom that’s underneath and trust it. The voice telling me to slow down is calling to me for a reason.
It doesn’t mean I’m going to lose everything I’m working for. I slow down, rest, take time, play a bit more, open up to creativity and then….the energy shifts and things start coming to me. The people are there, the business is there, ideas are flowing.
Really, slowing down is one of the most productive things I can do.
It’s a concept I call heart-aligned productivity and something I want to talk about this month. It’s not just doing more for the sake of doing more. Instead, it means doing what aligns with our heart AND trusting that will actually help us produce whatever we are meant to bring into the world.
This is your permission to pause.
I invite you to set aside the noise that would caution you otherwise.
Listen to the wisdom within you.
Give yourself what you most need: space, rest, play.
Trust that everything you are building, and everything that is meant to be yours is not lost but in fact will move closer to you in the process.
See you next week, when we’ll talk about a whole new distinction of heart-aligned productivity.
Enjoy your rest.
We live wholeheartedly when our thoughts, feelings and who we’re being in the world are in sync. In other words, when we are being honest and true to ourselves and living aligned with our authentic values. Definite power and freedom comes from living in this wholehearted way.
I challenge you to notice what it feels like in your body when you tell the truth. Even when simply choosing the clothes you will wear for the day or what you’ll have for dinner, check in and notice -- what does truth feel like for me?
Let’s expand this practice further.
Let’s talk about wholeheartedly saying yes and no. Are there some areas of your life where you say yes when you really want to say no? And/or, do you ever say no because for some reason you think you should, even though everything in your heart is screaming yes?
This is a great practice field, since we get many opportunities each day to say yes and no. There is ample opportunity to practice tuning into the truth when it comes to giving truthful answers.
This is your work for the week: take a pause whenever someone asks you a question, extends an invitation or makes a request of you -- whenever you are given an opportunity to say yes or no.
Remember what it felt like in your body to tell the truth. Take a few deep breaths and answer with whatever is true for you -- regardless of how challenging or scary it may be.
For example, a friend invites you to go out to dinner on Saturday night. Your mind may tell you you should do that, because they’re your friend and it will be fun. However, when you breathe into it, the idea feels stressful. You have a busy weekend planned and really just want to spend a quiet evening at home. Be willing to risk disappointing them and say no anyway.
Take it to the practice field in relationship to saying yes or no.
You are courageous; you can do it! Notice how liberating it is to tell the truth and to say yes or no wholeheartedly.
If you have any questions about this exercise, feel free comment below. And download the pdf below for journal prompts to support you.
I want to offer you a tool that I use on a regular basis.
I tend to pull this out when I’m feeling confused or unsure. What recently brought me to do it is that I’m grappling with a big decision where I’m a little unclear, so I’m taking a pause to anchor myself to my commitments and what works for me.
I learned this exercise from the brilliant Darla LeDoux. If you missed the podcast episode interview I did with her about living a heart-led life be sure to check it out!
This practice is SO simple but so powerful. It goes like this:
Grab a sheet of paper and split it down the middle.
Label one side “I’m available for…” and label the other side, “I’m not available for...”.
You can make your lists one of two ways:
1. Brain-dump everything you are available for on one side and then move to the other side and brain-dump everything you are not available for.
2. Bounce from one side to the other and make your way down the list.
It can be very powerful to read your list out loud. Seriously. Go to the bathroom mirror and read the list out loud to yourself. Watch this video to where I read mine aloud.
This was my list:
I am available for making wholehearted choices--wholehearted yeses and nos.
I am not available for making decisions out of obligation or pressure.
I am available for clear boundaries and firm deadlines.
I am not available for fixed rules that leave no room for my heart or spirit’s guidance.
I am available for honoring my own rhythms and cycles.
I am not available for playing by somebody else’s rules.
I am available for learning growing and expanding
I am not available for getting distracted by the next opportunity or thinking that I need something else before I start.
I am available for supporting people to live a heart-lead life.
I am not available for people who aren’t willing to take committed actions.
I am available for being supported.
I am not available for doing it all alone.
I am available for twists and turns that end up in magical unexpected places.
I am not available for spinning my wheels trying to figure it all out.
I am available for courageous leaps of faith.
I am not available for ignoring my heart.
I invite you to do this practice. Read it out loud to yourself and really FEEL the power of what you are, or are not, available for.
Share with me what shows up for you! Comment below or connect with me on social media. I always love to hear from you.
From the beginning, I held an intention in my heart with every Wildhearted retreat for people to have a real and undeniable experience of who they are at their true nature. I wanted people to experience tapping into the sacred place within themselves that would change everything. More than that, I wanted them to leave with tools that would allow them to return to that place over and over again.
As an unexpected side effect to the retreat experience, people have gotten really clear about what they want and give themselves permission to have it. They’ve had a taste of their true nature and they get that they are worthy and deserving. They realize it’s okay to let their heart want what it wants and to let their heart lead. So, they start doing that and, the next thing you know, they are ready to MOVE on a long-held passion or dream!
That’s how WildFire was born…it is a product of the natural progression of the wild heart expressed in the world. It is a dream made viable.
People leave retreat with this clarity and desire, BUT what they don’t have is the wherewithal to make it come alive.
It takes something to move an idea from conception to birth.
If you are just starting out and getting ready to move, there is a LOT of stuff to shed and new stuff to put in place. You have to develop new capacities, build new muscles and put structures in place.
I am not the same girl that I was when I first had the vision of leading retreats. My capacities have far exceeded what they were then.
But I didn’t do it on my own.
I did it with support.
Someone who had gone where I wanted to go and was willing to reach back and hold my hand, encourage me, teach me very specific things--and it made all the difference for me.
We all need that…someone who can show us the way.
That is what WildFire gives you.
The purpose of WildFire is to get up under your passion or dream and provide you with:
mental and emotional shifts
All of which are necessary to bring your dream to life.
If you’re holding on to a dream that you are ready to birth into the world…then c’mon, c’mon, let’s play!
If not now, then…when? What are you waiting for?
Lately, I’ve been having a lot of conversation about what it means to explore uncharted territory.
I just wrapped up the first round of my online course Whole<3’d where we talked about this topic a lot. Anytime we make a commitment to following our heart you can guarantee you have to go into uncharted territory.
There’s a lot of conversation around this in WildFire as well. Bringing to life a passion, calling or the longing of your heart is a big, bold move and takes a lot of commitment. It involves entering uncharted territory.
There is an enormous amount of trust in life that is required if we want to step out in this way.
I’ve noticed two distinct ways in which people tend to look at life:
For some, life is viewed through a fixed mindset.
“I can do this. I can’t do that.”
“I get what I get.”
“I have to play the hand I’ve been dealt.”
And if you’re looking at life from this perspective there will be limits to what is possible for you.
Then there are those who view life with a growth mindset.
“I can take what I’ve been given and use it as a jumping off point.”
Possibility is endless when there is a willingness to engage and learn.
Ultimately, we have to believe that life is taking care of us.
Things are happening for us, not to us.
In my live launch of WildFire I mentioned I’ll be working with a real “fire-starter,” Tiffany Bednar. I want to share with you a bit about our journey together over the past year and what led us to collaborate in this new endeavor.
Making a choice to consciously expand my marketing efforts was BIG in my business. It felt like a very bold move and even a risk. But I was very clear that it was the next move for me in terms of becoming more visible and expanding my audience.
Just the other day, in a conversation with some colleagues of mine, I was sharing some of the marketing I’ve been doing and it really had me be present to the ground I’ve covered in the past year with Tiffany.
In that conversation, I suddenly became very aware of how I’ve learned to think like a marketer and expand my vision.
I’ve found it’s less about strategy and specific actions (although that’s a big part of it) and it’s really about thinking in a big-picture way and putting all these dots together to create something beyond what I had originally thought possible.
A year ago I couldn’t have thought of the ideas I think of now. The inspiration that strikes me, and the ease with which I can visualize and bring those ideas to life, is all new territory and has all come about in the last year of working with Tiffany.
It’s really been a game changer for my business.
Now I want you to hear from her. REALLY listen as she shares her story of transformation and the powerful conviction she has in standing for women in business. Open your heart to these passionate and powerful words from Tiffany Bednar.
Learn more about Sacred Freedom at: www.SacredFreedomMarketing.com