What are you really waiting for?

I want to touch back in on the conversation we started about chasing carrots.
 
 
Recently I asked you to start noticing where in your life you feel hurried or as though you’re waiting on something. I posed the idea that when you tell yourself, “If this, then that,” you are believing a lie. (ie. “If this happens, then I will be happy.”)
 
So today I want to give you a little exercise that will help you get to the truth about what you’re really waiting for. 
 

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You’ll start by choosing an area of your life where you are telling yourself “If this, then that.”
Then, start to break that down by asking: “Then what?”
 
Let’s walk through an example from my own life:
 
Right now I’m trying to book a retreat and I am telling myself, “If the retreat center would get back to me about dates, then I could make a move.”
Then what?
“Then I could create the page on my website.”
Then what?
“Then I could announce the retreat to my community.”
Then what?
“Then I could start having conversations with people and registering them into the retreat.”
Then what?
Then I could start making plans, and supporting people in getting the results they want to get.”
Then what?
Then I would be doing the work I want to be doing.
Then what?
Then I would be satisfied.
 
You can see I’ve drilled it down until I got to something that feels real.
 
What I really want is the satisfaction that comes with being clear, doing the work I love and making a difference for the people I’m working with.
 
The final step is to ask myself: “What could I do right now that would give me the experience of being satisfied?”
 
I could make a list of things I’m grateful for. There are so many things in my life that I already have, which bring me great satisfaction.
 
You see, the illusion that I am buying into is that I need to hear back from this retreat center before I can be satisfied.
But that’s bullsh*t.
I don’t have to wait for them to be satisfied.
 
There is nothing we want for any other reason than how we think we’ll feel when we have it.
 
You want to get the root of that and start taking action on it immediately.
 
 
Now you try:
 

  1. Start by picking one instance where you are telling yourself, “If this, then that.”

  1. Then you’re going to break that down by asking yourself, “Then what?”

  1. Start to drill it down until you get to something that feels true for you. Designate a feeling.

  1. Find one thing that you can do to give yourself that feeling you’re after. Do that thing!

 
 
If you try this exercise and you get stuck, reach out and let me help you through it. I would love getting into this with you.

TIFFANY BEDNARComment