Practical Ways to Put Clear Boundaries in Place
All month, we’ve been exploring our relationship with boundaries. Last week, we looked at the many tolls we pay when our boundaries are murky. The intention today is to help you discover a few places where you can immediately put healthy boundaries into place in your life.
We’ve discussed the definition of what boundaries are; gained insight into why we don’t set them in some aspects of our lives; and understood the true costs involved when our boundaries are blurry or nonexistent.
Are you ready to make a change?
Get a piece of blank paper and draw a line down the middle. On the top left side, write THIS WORKS. Title the right column THIS DOESN’T WORK. I invite you to spend a few moments making these two lists.
What works for you? For example, respectful, engaging conversation; being on time and prepared for meetings; presenting clear offerings that feel resonant and true.
What doesn’t work? Ambiguity doesn’t work for me. It doesn’t work for people to disregard my time or for me to disregard anyone else’s time. And so on.
Reread the list of what doesn’t work for you and circle 2-3 items that jump out at you, perhaps with an emotional charge. This is where we will start. Ask yourself:
What action can I take to implement a new boundary?
How can I ensure that I don’t have to put up with situations/people/things that don’t work for me?
Personally, I’ve been looking at my boundary around people who I am and am not willing to work with as a coach. I’ve seen that it doesn’t work for me to continue to try and convince someone when I’ve recognized that they are not ready. It doesn’t work for me to try and force a good fit. Instead, I can accept that it’s okay for people not to be a fit and simply say: “I don’t think what I’m offering is a good match.”
What actions can you take to put stronger, healthier boundaries in place? What steps are you taking to support the kind of life you want to live?
Write in your journal:
I am making a commitment to __________________
I am available for ______________________
This is what works for me: ______.... Here is an action I’m taking to support this boundary: _______________________
Thanks for joining me on this adventure in boundary setting. Stay tuned! Next month, we’re moving into BELIEF.
I want to hear from you. What did you discover around boundaries this month? It’s powerful to share your thoughts and ideas with someone.
Feel free to comment below and share your thoughts on boundaries with me. I’d love to hear how this exploration has been for you.